Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
