This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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