these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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