You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Actions speak louder than pants.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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