Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My vagina is officially offended.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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