his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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