operation harelip BJ is a go
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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