You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
