Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So. Much. Porn.
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