i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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