i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
