i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
