if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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