yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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