when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize