And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
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The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
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We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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