I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
