You made me cry and you don't even care
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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