I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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