Duck Duck Cougar?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
