I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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