and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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