I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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