FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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