Whod you bang
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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