I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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