I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
