i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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