I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
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I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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