What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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