Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
