She announced her abortion via fbk
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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