and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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