The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
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it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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