This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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