You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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