I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
