I just cut my nipple shaving
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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