I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
