awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
