thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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