turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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