He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
