dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
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I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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