I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
