yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
