I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
