I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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