My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
