she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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