I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
