I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We just shotgunned beers for America
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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