their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
are you so shy because you have an std?
the condom got lost in my hair
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
