I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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