Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
