Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
