yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just gift wrapped bread.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
