My first STD was from a foam party
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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