How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize