I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
