I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
