I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
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